Juggling Startup Life and Single Parenting | Alex Medick (Dad of 2, TensorWave)

Alex Medick [00:00:00]:
I do tell myself this is a brief moment in time. They're eight and four. What? My son's going to stop wanting to hang out with me when he's 12. He'll be too cool for school and hang out with his friends. My daughter, I'll have her for a little bit longer, but probably when she's like 10, 11, she'll start doing all her gymnastics and be with her whole group of girlfriends going to sleepovers and tea parties. If that's even a thing they still do. So it's like, I also keep in mind this isn't a forever thing. This is a right now situation. We're going to be okay.

Adam Fishman [00:00:29]:
Welcome to Startup Dad, the podcast where we dive deep into the lives of dads who are also leaders in the world of startups and business. I'm your host, Adam Fishman. I'm joined today by Alex Medick. He's the first marketing hire and Head of Marketing for AI infrastructure company, TensorWave. Prior to that, he was the President and Chief Marketing Officer of Inside.com. Alex is a single dad of two kids, a perspective I was very excited to be able to share on the show. On today's episode we talked about life as a single dad, how he talked to his kids about separation and his number one motto, give yourself some grace. We talked about balancing new school and old school parenting, some of the hilarious stories from his life as a single dad and the most surprising things he's discovered as a dad. I hope you enjoy today's conversation with Alex Medic and if you like what you hear, please subscribe on Apple, Spotify, YouTube or your favorite podcast player so you never miss a weekly episode.

Adam Fishman [00:01:32]:
Welcome, Alex Medick, to Startup Dad. Alex, great to see you today. Thanks for joining me on the show.

Alex Medick [00:01:38]:
Of course. Adam, thanks so much for inviting me.

Adam Fishman [00:01:40]:
I am really excited to talk to you today. You are a single dad of an 8 year old and a 4 year old and you're also the first marketing hire at an early stage VC backed startup called TensorWave. Now I imagine if you drew up your life plan this was probably not the way you had envisioned it. Single dad, demanding job. But here you are and you're making it work. And so tell me about life as a single dad at a startup.

Alex Medick [00:02:10]:
Did I ever expect myself to work at a startup? No, not really. That was on the life plan. Definitely. Being a single dad of two kids under 8 years old, under absolutely not on the life plan. But you know what, life kind of has a funny way of happening. Listen, I'm head of marketing at TensorWave, where we are announcing our series A very soon. So by the time this comes out, you'll probably have some cool news about the company. But I was the first marketing hire here and there's nothing more crazy than joining a startup and trying to be a single dad at the same time.

Alex Medick [00:02:41]:
I don't know what I was thinking, but once you kind of find your rhythm, life starts to go easier. You have to really find your own rhythm. I am a single parent. I do split custody with their mom, which she only has them one, two days a week. So I am the primary caregiver, which is fun. If you knew how many times I've been on my AirPods, like holding a baby, rocking them to sleep while on a conference call with board members, your head would explode. It's chaos, man. But honestly, it's fun chaos.

Alex Medick [00:03:09]:
I don't know what else I would be doing. And it's life. You just got to roll with the punches and kind of figure out how it works for you.

Adam Fishman [00:03:15]:
Yeah. How old were your kids when you and your wife first separated?

Alex Medick [00:03:21]:
Oh, so this was three years ago. So my daughter was very young. She was one, maybe turning two and what, my son was five at the time.

Adam Fishman [00:03:31]:
Yeah. How probably was hard to talk to like a one or a two year old about the situation. But I'm curious, how did you approach your kids with this? Like, how did you talk to them?

Alex Medick [00:03:45]:
It wasn't an easy conversation, I'll say that. I cried like a little baby multiple times throughout this conversation. My daughter was so young, she didn't really comprehend. But my son, he was old enough to know what was going on. His name's Zephyr, so I was just Zephyr. Mom and dad, we just aren't working together under the same roof, but we still love each other. We're still partners in all this. Life is going to be good.

Alex Medick [00:04:08]:
We're just going to try something a little different, but know that we're here and we'll always be around. And I made an extra effort for him to know. Uh, I actually, even on days I didn't have him at the start, I would pick him up in the morning to take him to school. I would pick him up from school, take him home, still team all the activities. Like, I think I went the extra mile to know that even though I wasn't physically under that roof, I was literally there until bedtime, like hanging out with him. And then once he went to bed, I'd go back and do my own thing. And we did that until he felt comfortable enough. And my daughter, she was young, she didn't really know because I was around for my son.

Alex Medick [00:04:47]:
I was still putting her to bed. Then eventually it started to become where I just wasn't there in the mornings a little bit. But then they were also with me so much that it really didn't matter. It all started to work out eventually. I think everyone got comfortable with it. And to be honest, I think my son actually really started to notice a happier thing because he's like, oh well, there's not so much stress and anxiety around the household anymore when you're a startup dad. I was at a startup too. When I got divorced.

Alex Medick [00:05:15]:
That was rough. I was actually working for Jason Calacanis@inside.com during that time and that was a very demanding job. Going through the separation and getting the kids together. I kind of didn't really know what to do except just forget everything else around me. Just focus on my kids being cool. So just all about getting the next thing done. And over time things start to work out as they are. If you ask me if I have a personal life, the answer is hell no.

Alex Medick [00:05:41]:
I do not have a personal life at all. But it's all good. It's for the greater cause, you know?

Adam Fishman [00:05:47]:
Yeah. Do you remember what questions your 5 year old had when you told him about when you and your ex wife talked to him about this? Was he like, how's this going to work?

Alex Medick [00:05:58]:
I don't remember him having any questions where I was like, wow, that's smart. And why do you think? Like, I think he was just soaking it all in and didn't really know what to do. So it was kind of like, hey, can I go play? Like really go play soccer. What are we going to do? And that's what we did. I would always just try to tell him like, hey, ma'am, it's going to be okay. Trust me, life works out. This is so negative against marriage. And I don't mean that to me because I totally believe in marriage.

Alex Medick [00:06:24]:
But I was also like, listen, my parents are both divorced twice. The parents on his mom's side are both divorced. My grandparents are divorced. I was like, we, we don't really have a lot of known family together, families around us. Even his three best friends, all their parents were separated. I think you could understand what was happening. But there wasn't crazy life questions. But also he kind of saw the normalcy around a lot of it.

Alex Medick [00:06:47]:
So I think that might have helped. I don't know what that Says to the state of marriage, specifically in Las Vegas, where I'm from. I think I was probably having a harder time with it than he was. Be honest, because all you see is like, holy crap, I'm not going to see my kids. As much like it was heartbreaking. I can't leave this little dude all by himself to this little girl all by herself. But as I said it, it all starts to work out and things normalize over time.

Adam Fishman [00:07:10]:
Yeah. And it sounds like you did a good job of kind of easing him into it too, where you were really present for most of that time, putting him to bed, being there in the morning, things like that. And then kind of slowly like shifted over time and establish what like the new normal was for, for your kids.

Alex Medick [00:07:26]:
My son was at school too, so of course this was happening right around summer break. So he actually came with me. He helped me pick out the place we live in now because I wouldn't be a part of it. So he helped me pick out my, my home. I let him decorate his room, got him all new furniture and whatnot. And then it was summertime, so he got to spend way more time with me. Then probably he just kind of hung out and never left for a while. So I think things got easy pretty quickly.

Adam Fishman [00:07:49]:
So I may be projecting a little bit here, but to me, because I've never done it, being a single dad sounds very chaotic and stressful. And you have in some ways described it to me as that. But you've also described it to me, lest I leave this out, as awesome and incredibly worth it. So if we set aside solo parenting for a second, how has your life changed for the better since you've become a dad?

Alex Medick [00:08:15]:
Well, I can tell you, the guy joke I tell everyone is to my guy friends, I'm always like, listen, my life's exactly the same. I just don't get yelled at six days a week now. It hasn't really changed that much to me, really. Like before I was either working or being a full time dad. And that's kind of what it is now. Like today we're recording on a Tuesday, prime example. So he's with his mom today. But what I'm actually going to do is I'll leave work today at 4:00, I'll pick him up, I'll go take him to soccer practice.

Alex Medick [00:08:42]:
We'll be at soccer practice till 9. And while he does that, I'll just work from my phone or my laptop in the little field or whatever, like while the moms congregate. On the soccer side, I'll be on my little chair on my laptop. And so I get to see him on little on days like that, which is cool. So I still try to take him to all of the activities. It's so hard because you don't have a life. And I think people that don't have kids understand what it's like when you have kids. The world just changes around you.

Alex Medick [00:09:08]:
And sure, I don't go to bars all the time, I don't go meet up with random people and go on crazy adventures, but I'm okay with that. Man, I still wake up every day, I work out, I hang out with my kids, I make them all their meals. We do homework, read books. They're my little adventure buddies. I don't know the last time I've gone on something without them, I just strapped my daughter on my back and we're going to soccer games, baseball games, hiking in Red Rock Canyon. I know it's a new adventure. That's it. Just life is a little bit different.

Alex Medick [00:09:35]:
But also, I don't know, what the hell was I doing before sitting by myself at a bar trying to meet a strange chick. Like, who cares? Life's okay, I promise. Yeah, yeah, it sounds like I laugh my ass off all the time. These kids are hilarious. And I think probably one of the reasons I work at the startup too is I'm a big kid, so it works out for me. So I get to have a lot of fun and push the boundaries a little bit too.

Adam Fishman [00:09:57]:
That's awesome. Now you mentioned to me that one of your life mottos is give yourself some grace. Can you tell me more about what you mean by that?

Alex Medick [00:10:06]:
There are so many things to do, so many checklists. Listen, I'm a big process checklist person that's just like through work that is carried over into life. I'm so big on processes, procedures that sometimes you don't get to everything to the full extent between laundry, cooking, food. Sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, I didn't make them a perfect balanced meal of frickin whatever, green beans and turkey and rice. And I just like, here's some frozen fish sticks. Eat up kids, let's go. Like there's pizza two days a row because I went to too many birthday parties and I can't handle cooking anymore. Or sometimes you just get damn frustrated because you're like, I went to bed with two children saying, dad, dad, dad.

Alex Medick [00:10:45]:
I wake up two kids going dad, dad, dad. It's just a non stop ticking. And sometimes it's like, holy hell, I need some sort of reprieve. And I don't know, but you can't get too down on yourself because you're like, hey, I also look at it too. I start to look around at the other fathers I see around my kids, school or whatever. And I started to go, I'm around so much more than these other parents. I'm at every birthday party, I'm at most school pickups, every school event. I can't say that for a lot of the dads I see around.

Alex Medick [00:11:13]:
So I give myself grace, knowing that shit's hard, but at least I'm trying. And hopefully when my kids are older, they'll say, they'll look back and be like, hey, dad, he wasn't perfect, man. I'm a little crazy. Got a little bit of anger issues, little narcissistic problems, but they'll look back and say, at least he was there and he tried.

Adam Fishman [00:11:31]:
Yeah, and it sounds like, you know, if I add on to that motto, it's kind of like, try to get it right just a little bit more than you get it wrong and be.

Alex Medick [00:11:41]:
Okay with that a hundred percent. To me, it's like, all right, you know what you didn't do right? Just like, try to do a little better every day. And maybe also don't be so lazy because sometimes it really is just you being, I'm going to be lazy for five seconds if I get this little shortcut. But the shortcuts, they always eat at me. So it's whatever. Try to know you're doing way more than most people do. Look at your. Like, anyone listening, look, look at your parents.

Alex Medick [00:12:03]:
You probably like doing more than what they did. You know, it's. Everyone tries better than the previous generation, so you do what you do.

Adam Fishman [00:12:09]:
That is very good perspective, for sure. So we talked a little bit about parenting frameworks in the prep for this, and it didn't sound like you had any particular frameworks, but you do have some beliefs about parenting, which I thought were pretty close to having a framework.

Alex Medick [00:12:26]:
I have no frameworks, Adam, so I'm, I'm, I'm winging this non stop.

Adam Fishman [00:12:31]:
Well, what are your parenting beliefs?

Alex Medick [00:12:34]:
What.

Adam Fishman [00:12:34]:
What are the ways that you try to live by or sort of the principles that you try to live by when it comes to parenting?

Alex Medick [00:12:40]:
Try to show your kids just as much love as possible. Know you're there for them. Always be kind. Try not to get down on yourself and don't let them get down on themselves. Always. Just be there, be happy. And keep trying to be motivating and keep the party going. The other thing is, yeah, I guess just relax and keep trying.

Alex Medick [00:12:57]:
Try hard. Like that's kind of it. Just always try. Don't give up. Even on days where you can't, you can't get to where you want to go or work is just beating you down. For example, like even this morning I woke up, my alarm goes off at 6:30 every morning and my first phone call was 6:45am so I'm getting the world ready with my AirPods on having a PR meeting immediately followed by a board meeting that's going on room next to me right now. Life gets crazy, especially at a startup. Keep going like everyone knows what to do.

Alex Medick [00:13:28]:
Just do the next right thing and don't quit and just show up for your kids, man. I think being there, listen, my kids are young so who knows, I could be screwing them up entirely when they're 20. So many. I'll probably pay for so many therapists. Like, it is what it is. I think if you just keep showing up and you keep showing love, it's all going to work out in the end.

Adam Fishman [00:13:47]:
Yeah, yeah. There was another thing that you mentioned to me which is, and I'm going to paraphrase it a little bit, but it was the thing that sounds the most sucky is probably what you need to do as a parent to give your kids the best experience. So what does that mean? Tell me more about that one.

Alex Medick [00:14:06]:
Well, before the call we were talking about a little bit. Here's my most recent sucky thing. Both my kids were on spring break. I family that lives in Chicago, Illinois and so do I want to fly halfway across the country with two screaming children that just want to beat the crap out of each other non stop when they're not with their friends flying an airplane. An airplane that was delayed seven times at the airport, might I add, surviving that flight, landing at 2 in the morning, driving an hour outside to Clarendon Hills, Illinois so I can get to my sister's house and then wake up at 6am Chicago time for her kids to wake up and wake me up and be uncle. Do I want to do that at all? Would I rather. Would I rather honestly smoke a joint, have a glass of wine and go to bed? Fuck yes, I would. But the kids had a blast and it's not that bad.

Alex Medick [00:14:53]:
You just got to power through the parts where you're like that sounds horrible. Just keep doing it. Another example is Easter weekend was not that long ago. If you're a Parent. You know who Blippi is? I live next to the Las Vegas ballpark here in town where the the Aviators and sometime the now Las Vegas A's will play. There was Blippi and Mika night. Did I want to go stand in a line with 700 kids to go meet Blippi and Mika? Absolutely not. It's my damn nightmare.

Alex Medick [00:15:21]:
But I bought us the tickets. It was honestly, we had the best time ever. It was a front row. I even able to cheat and get us to the front row. It was fantastic. But like those things suck is that. That's not how I want to spend my Saturday nights at all. But hey, everyone had a blast and I got to watch a little bit of baseball.

Alex Medick [00:15:37]:
I got to hang out with my kids. They had a blast. So what does it matter, man? As long as the kids have a good time, that's honestly all you're going to remember. At the end of the day, you're not going to remember the hard things. Like, I'm not going to remember all the layovers. I'm not going to remember the fights about who got the coloring book or who got the iPad at what time they had a blast. And I know in a few years that's what I'll remember and that's what they'll remember.

Adam Fishman [00:15:58]:
Yeah. It's funny how sometimes that stuff that seems super painful and frustrating at the time ends up becoming the subject of a joke or something that you kind of look back on and laugh. You described yourself to me as being a bit more old school when it comes to parenting. Can you tell me about what. What it means for you to be an old school parent?

Alex Medick [00:16:20]:
A lot of people I know do not agree with his parenting style. I actually think we live in a day and age where people are a little too coddled. And no offense, if you do this, I actually think it's great and the people that make it work are awesome. But I mean, I grew up. My dad was 50 when I was born, so he was from a different time where things were a little older. My grandparents were older. They were a little more stern and strict and direct. So I'm not exactly, hey, don't do that or you're getting the belt kind of strict.

Alex Medick [00:16:49]:
We're beyond those days. But I don't really coddle my kids that much. I'm like, no, this is what you did wrong. This is what we're doing. You say this, go apologize now. Like, I don't really do that. How's that make you feel? Let's Talk about this in the quiet corner. I'm like, no, you did wrong.

Alex Medick [00:17:04]:
And as long as you live under my roof, here's how we're solving these issues.

Adam Fishman [00:17:08]:
Yeah.

Alex Medick [00:17:09]:
And no. Did I ever think I'd say as long as you're living under my roof and I'm paying the bills? Is that a quote on everything? I'd say hell no. But have I said it very recently? Yes, I have.

Adam Fishman [00:17:20]:
It starts early, apparently.

Alex Medick [00:17:21]:
It happens, man. And it flows out of your mouth when you least expect it. And then you sit back and you're like, damn it, I'm my parents. So what the hell just happened?

Adam Fishman [00:17:29]:
Everyone's parenting style is what works for them. You know, no judgment on people who do it different ways as long as your kids are cared for and you know, not abused and things like that. I think there is a bit of a more of a growing trend towards what you describe as old school parenting. But I think we've over maybe over rotated towards like kind of coddling. There's been a lot of books and stuff written about this lately and so maybe the pendulum switching back a little bit or we're just going to find that happy medium that's different than our parents generation, but maybe, maybe a little closer to the middle.

Alex Medick [00:18:02]:
Honestly, I'm actually thinking of a very specific example from this weekend. There's this giant trampoline park. It's another dang birthday party from my kids school. It's every weekend there's a birthday party but I go there and my son, I let like we have a little motorcycle. I let him ride the motorcycle around the neighborhood. I don't care. He'll can jump off things, go have fun. And parents like you let your kid do that.

Alex Medick [00:18:25]:
So that's preface. I give my son a lot of freedom. My daughter, she's four, she just turned four yesterday. She's not that old. She hangs out with me a lot more. We do a lot more coloring and design work. But my son, him and his friends are jumping in a trampoline park. One of his friends falls, hits his knee to his face, cuts his lip open and starts crying for mom.

Alex Medick [00:18:47]:
Instantly my like doesn't know how to handle life, completely shuts down. The mom's panicking, she's like, how do I stop this bleeding? I was like, oh, first time all right. Like so here I grabbed like the towel, help out the kid. And my son, when he falls, he gets hurt. He just goes, sorry dad, I'm okay, I'm good. And just keeps running on because we've just done it so many times. Like, you fall, you fall, man. We're boys.

Alex Medick [00:19:09]:
Let's go.

Adam Fishman [00:19:10]:
I also have a kid about your kid's age, a little bit older, but I want to hear a little bit about some of your chaotic stories of being a dad and a single dad. So I've got a list of them here. The first one is, your son was diagnosed with asthma during COVID but didn't actually have asthma. So tell me about that.

Alex Medick [00:19:31]:
Listen, I still fight the doctors on this one. This was actually a really scary thing at the time, but it was wildly absurd to me. We have really bad seasonal allergies here in Las Vegas. My son never had them. It was Covid. We're all home all the time. Some of the home office is working, and my son comes up to me and goes, dad, I'm having a hard time breathing. I'm like, interesting.

Alex Medick [00:19:54]:
So I said, just lay down on the bed. Let's watch some tv. Here's some water. I'm just gonna sit next to you, work on my laptop. Thirty minutes later, he goes, dad, I. I'm just really struggling. I can't do this. So we're like, okay, let's call a doctor.

Alex Medick [00:20:07]:
Sounds bougie. Don't judge me. I have a concierge doctor. Doctor came over to the house and checked him, Goes, your son has lung issues. He cannot breathe right now. We need to get him to an ambulance right now and go immediately to the hospital. So obviously, I'm like, holy crap. Call an ambulance.

Alex Medick [00:20:22]:
Come over. We get in there, go to the hospital, and because it was a viral infection, they didn't know what it was at the time. It was considered a viral airborne problem. And it was during COVID They put us in the virology, like, seclusion room where he and I had to be quarantined. Like, oh, sorry, you're not allowed to leave this room for 14 days.

Adam Fishman [00:20:45]:
Whoa.

Alex Medick [00:20:46]:
And we just got there, and I'm like, what do you mean? And like, no one parent can go in there, but you can now leave this room for 14 days. If you really want to stay in there with him, you can. So I was like, yeah, sure. So I grabbed my laptop and a little thing, grabbed some toothbrushes, and I went in his room, and we literally camped out in this hospital bed for 14 days, where the. Every day, I'm just looking at the nurses be like, we do not have Covid. He had a breathing treatment thing. They gave him a nebulizer. He did that.

Alex Medick [00:21:12]:
We did every once in a While. But it's not the end of the world. But they wouldn't let us go at all. And that was one of those things in life you just don't expect, you don't want to see. And also, never in my life do I want to be quarantined in the hospital for 14 days. Again. That was a nightmare for me. I can't imagine for my son.

Alex Medick [00:21:30]:
My actually weird side note, my son loved it because you obviously had the IV drip in your arm during this time. He's like, dad, what are they doing to me? And I. I didn't know what to say. So I said, son, I gotta tell you something that your mom's not gonna be too happy about. But I actually paid the doctors to give you a robot arm. So when it comes 18, you have special robots going in your arm now, and you're gonna have a full strength robot arm when you're 18 years old. And he honestly, to this day will go, dad, I think I see it. Look at these muscles.

Alex Medick [00:21:58]:
It's coming, isn't it? I was like, when you're 18, we're gonna look at this kid. This kid runs more than anyone. If you told me at a lung problem, like, Alex, don't forget his inhale. I'm like, I just watched this kid run for five hours straight. Like, what do you mean? Like, he's more. He needs more to do. I need to get a hamster wheel for my house.

Adam Fishman [00:22:14]:
Being a single dad and traveling with two kids for vacations, what is like your most chaotic travel story? And then I'm curious if you have like a dad hack to kind of navigate these travel adventures.

Alex Medick [00:22:28]:
We were actually trying to travel from Las Vegas to San Diego so we could go to. My sister was getting engaged, so we went to her engagement party. My son's still in diapers. First things first, I go Southwest. We give them all the tickets. Sorry, not kind of call Southwest. Lovely airline people. I get to the door, ex wife gets on, baby gets on.

Alex Medick [00:22:51]:
Then I go for a ticket. They said, oh, sorry, we can't prove that you're the parent, so we won't let you on the plane. I was like, they're all under my name. Here's the birth certificate of my phone. And here's this like, sorry, if you don't pay a fee right now, we can't let you on this plane. So I bought an extra ticket. I got on the plane as someone not with the kid. It was the dumbest rule I've ever heard.

Alex Medick [00:23:11]:
I don't understand this. So I still travel today with birth certificates because that will never happen to me again. But we'd go on and you know when you're stuck on the Runway, you just have to wait for permission to back up and take off. That took, I don't know, it just kept getting longer and longer. And my son, the second we got on the plane, crapped in his diaper. And I was like, all right, we just gotta hold off until this plane's in the sky. I can go to the bathroom, change him. Life's good.

Alex Medick [00:23:37]:
And you, you know how small airplane bathrooms are. So eventually the snow was so bad and he was getting so much worse. His divers just filling up and I was like, oh my God, we're doing this right now. So I can't wait anymore. So we picked him up, I took him to the bathroom, I start changing him. And then on the speaker, I hear knocks on the door. And I was like, okay, one minute, guys, one minute. On the speaker, the captain announces to the whole plane, whoever's in the bathroom with a baby, you are preventing all of us from taking off and missing our connecting flight.

Alex Medick [00:24:07]:
So please get out of right now. And I'm just like, what the hell is happening in my life right now? This is not what I wanted to be doing. I just want a quiet weekend in San Diego. And Now I've spent 300 more dollars than I wanted to. And the captain is yelling about my son that I can't control his diaper situation. Man, what do you looking out for? The greater good of the people. You're not to live on the smell.

Adam Fishman [00:24:28]:
That's amazing. The captain called you out on the plane.

Alex Medick [00:24:30]:
It was on the speakerphone and people like kind of moaned and looked at me when I opened the door. They're like, oh, you're already stressed because.

Adam Fishman [00:24:38]:
Your kid is just, you know, doing the. Something ungodly in his diaper. And then the captain decides that he's.

Alex Medick [00:24:44]:
Going to call you out. If another dad's listening to this, man, if you, you know a blowout, like, you don't want to deal with a blowout in an airplane bathroom. It's a nightmare. And that was the first time I flew with my son. And I was like, I don't think we're ever going to do this again. I'll never leave in my house. This is it.

Adam Fishman [00:24:59]:
Now that you've traveled a bunch with kids, especially now as a solo dad, when you're, when you're outnumbered on a flight, you've got your 8 year old and your 4 year old. Any dad hacks or anything that you can think of, maybe for flights or for car trips or anything like that that's come in handy for you.

Alex Medick [00:25:16]:
I just try to keep them entertained and separated as much from out realizing how close they are to each other. Space one, I'm always in the middle seat. Now I have to keep someone separated. And my backpack, when I would travel, I would travel so light, just like a hat in my backpack, an iPad, a book for me to listen to, whatever. Now it's literally coloring books, drawing things, candy, hand sanitizer, waves everything under the sun. Jolly Ranchers really help. That's so silly. I know.

Alex Medick [00:25:44]:
Don't give your kids too much candy and whatnot. But Jolly Ranchers not only keep them entertained, it also helps with the ear popping impressorization going up and down. So it's very helpful. A lot of coloring books and just pay for the WI fi on the plane so your kid can like draw something on the iPad or watch YouTube Kids or download Khan Academy. So like my daughter, I've Khan Academy on my iPad. So she's always like just doing some sort of educational game where I don't know. My son, this last trip, he's all cool guy wearing the over your headphones bumping Kendrick Lamar on his iPad. I'm like, what the hell's happening?

Adam Fishman [00:26:14]:
There was a good nugget of wisdom in there though, which is the Jolly Ranchers helps with the earth popping. That is something that I did not.

Alex Medick [00:26:20]:
Know I read once that the sucking actually helps with the ear pressurization. I was like, okay, that's cool. So they think they're stoked because they're getting candy. But yeah, I just, I bring so many things just to keep everyone so entertained and it is not relaxing for me. Actually the kids make fun of me right now because I bought a book at the airport to read on the last flight because I was so bored. We were waiting so long. I bought a book and I'm still only on like the second page because every time I'd open the book to make dad help me with this, I'd put it down data with this. So they always, they make fun of this.

Alex Medick [00:26:48]:
Whoever wrote everyone on this train is a suspect. My kids think it's a hilarious book because I've never been able to read this book. But it sits, it sits on the, it sits on the coffee table. We all look at it every day. Like I'm going to read it.

Adam Fishman [00:27:00]:
Okay, tell me about the challenges of doing a four year old girl's hair for you, Adam.

Alex Medick [00:27:06]:
This is the bane of my existence. You would not think doing a girl's hair is the worst thing in your life. It is the worst thing in my life. I cannot wait to the day she is old enough to start doing her own hair doing this. I never want to do it again. I don't know how to brush long hair. You start from the bottom to the top. They're screaming at you.

Alex Medick [00:27:26]:
You can never get the braid right. I don't know how to freaking twist. I don't know. All these weird clamps and butterfly things. I had them everywhere. And all I hear is how bad I'm doing at it. And then I take my daughter to school, and by the time we get to school, she looks like she's been in a fricking bar fight. And I was like, look at all these little princesses running around.

Alex Medick [00:27:44]:
My daughter looks like she just jumped out of a freaking cage match and just here to take on the world. It's a nightmare. I try so hard. If you Knew how many YouTube videos I've watched on how to do girls hair. And I still don't get it. It's a nightmare. And I know I'm gonna survive until she's only 4. I gotta wait till she's like 13.

Alex Medick [00:28:05]:
They're doing her own hair. So I got a few years left, but I'm trying, man.

Adam Fishman [00:28:10]:
Okay, so my last thing is, I understand that you are also a soccer dad. Does that mean that you are screaming on the sidelines? What does that mean for you to be soccer dad?

Alex Medick [00:28:21]:
Oh, yes. Well, first year soccer dad, I thought I was gonna be cool guy and coach my son's team. That will never happen again. Done, done, done, done. That was like my kid, my son was in kindergarten, so it's like a bunch of other kindergarteners that don't want to listen to you. And if anyone from my son's school ever hears this, I don't want them to be pissed at me. But listen, I'm 38, 6, 395. I go to the gym every day.

Alex Medick [00:28:45]:
I really work out and exercise. I'm always active. Every dad there is like, beer belly, barely playing golf, polo shirts, balding, 5 5. It's like a whole thing. And so all the kids look at me, they go, holy crap, an adult that could actually run and play with me. So I become fun dad every time I'm with these kids. That was a nightmare. All the kids were like, oh, he's just here to chase us and play soccer.

Alex Medick [00:29:08]:
And it Was a nightmare. I will never do that again. But now I'm just fun on the sidelines. Let's be supportive father. Yes. I know every kid's name. I help support them. Like, I have my little wagon and my rocking chair.

Alex Medick [00:29:22]:
We had the blanket. I'd go back for my daughter to play on the. The picnic blanket. While I'm there running up and down the sidelines, that open shot. Let's go. Like, there's a. I'm always like, way to go, Juan. Way to go.

Alex Medick [00:29:33]:
Oh, and, like, I try to cheer on the whole team, try to help them. If they're, like, one kid sad, I always walk over. I'm like, hey, here's how you could do this next time. Here's how you win. Like, I'm sure I overstepped my place way too many times. I've only gotten to one argument with another parent. That was the most embarrassing time in my life. I feel I should still really regret it, but he pissed me off so much that I actually lost my temper in front of the kids.

Alex Medick [00:29:56]:
There's a clear delineation of when parents go from my kids are, hey, and I'll have fun soccer to it's now competitive. And I found out that age is, like, six, seven, eight. Okay, Seven, six. Six years old. Five, six. Everyone's so chill. Look how adorable these little kids are chasing the ball. 7, 8.

Alex Medick [00:30:14]:
There's parents out there, like, yelling at their kids to do better what they're doing wrong and screaming. And I'm like, holy crap. I'm not trying to scar my children for life, man. I just want to be supportive and all. There's. This was last season, a dad brought out a megaphone, and my son's name is Zephyr, and I think his number was, like, eight or something like that. He goes, get that number eight. That piece of crap keeps kicking everybody.

Alex Medick [00:30:38]:
Blah. And I lost it and was pretty much said, you need to stop or I will make you stop. Not so much in those kind words. Where commissioners and referees had to get involved, I might have gotten ejected. It was an interesting time, and that was my biggest regret as a soccer parent.

Adam Fishman [00:30:53]:
Okay, what did your son think of dad going to bat for him on the sidelines there?

Alex Medick [00:30:59]:
He thought it was the funniest thing he's ever seen in his life. He's like, dad, you should have taken that guy out. That was hilarious. I was like, no, son, that's not how we act. I am so sorry. Like, that was embarrassing. I should have been cooler about it. And so I have to, like, obviously apologize to my son, let him know it's okay.

Alex Medick [00:31:15]:
I told the whole team, like, when they're all at the next practice, like, guys, I'm sorry for how I acted. I didn't like how that guy was talking to us, and I should have been better about it. So you got to humble yourself and apologize to all these children. You're also like, damn it, children. I thought I didn't have to apologize to people anymore. 38 years old. You guys are seven.

Adam Fishman [00:31:31]:
Good recovery, though. It sounds like you made a good recovery there with the kids. Now that you're a solo parent and often one on two with your kids than you did when you were married, is that parenting dynamic changed for you?

Alex Medick [00:31:46]:
I would say it has changed slightly. And the fact where there's no one else to lean on, I can't be like, hey, can you talk to our son about this? There used to be, like, kind of a good cop, bad cop scenario. Now it's either dad's being awesome or, oh, crap, we got in trouble real quick, and everyone's in trouble real quick. That part, I. I feel like that's missing, where it's like, you just kind of get the wrath and the coddle kind of the side of it, and now it's kind of just like me with all the wrath until I calm down and I'm like, oh, guys, I'm. Listen, let's move forward together as a group. So I think that part, that's been a tricky dynamic. And also, they're at the age now, like I just said.

Alex Medick [00:32:23]:
My daughter's 4. My son's 8. They're at the age now where they fight all the time. So it's like you're trying to separate the two when they want to fight. Like, her foot's in my doorway. Or why Zephyr, looking at. Looking down the hall at me, I'm like, oh, my God. I can't, like, keep you guys in two separate houses.

Alex Medick [00:32:38]:
Like, this is crazy. But, hey, we. We work through it. And also, I do tell myself this is a brief moment in time. They're eight and four. What? My son's gonna stop wanting to hang out with me when he's 12. He'll be too cool for school and hang out with his friends. My daughter, I'll have her for a little bit longer, but probably when she's, like, 10, 11, she'll start doing all her gymnastics and be with her whole group of girlfriends going to sleepovers and tea parties, if that's even a thing.

Alex Medick [00:33:03]:
They still do. So it's like, I also keep in mind this isn't a forever thing. This is a right now situation. We're going to be okay.

Adam Fishman [00:33:11]:
Yeah. Speaking of which, we're in a really interesting time with technology right now. I mean, you work for a tech company. You've worked for many of them. Your kids use technology or beginning to. How do you think about the relationship you want them to have with technology as they get older and start exploring more?

Alex Medick [00:33:29]:
So I believe technology should be obviously part of your life. You cannot escape it. It's going to be in the future. I know there's some parents that always go like, oh, I don't want to be an iPad mom or whatever. Listen, it kind of is what it is. I use technology not just to entertain though. It's a lot of education. So like my daughter only has educational things.

Alex Medick [00:33:49]:
I have an iPad at the house that they share. There's only educational things on there she can do. And like YouTube kids with very hard parental setting set. So it's mostly educational shows or my son, because I work in tech, I'm a marketer, I'm not a developer, but a lot of the VP of engineering here at TensorWave, Kyle the other day at lunch, he's like, Alex, you haven't taught your kid to start coding yet. You're gonna fall behind. I'm like, get out of here, Kyle. This is absurd.

Alex Medick [00:34:13]:
My son, I. He thinks he has a phone. I actually took when I upgraded phones, I just didn't turn my old iPhone in and I swiped it of everything on there. And now there's like two, like kid programs he can use. So he has my old iPhone 12 Pro or something like that has Apple Music and YouTube and select Minecraft. So he thinks he's like, has technology. I want to be a part of their lives. I want them to know that it's cool, it's out there for information and technology.

Alex Medick [00:34:37]:
I show my son all the time cool things like when we ask a question or he wants to know something. I was like, well, hey, let's ask perplexity and learn the history of this and stuff like that. So why should you use technology to learn and keep growing? But also I'm very big on. I hate being inside me personally. I work so much that I'm on a computer nonstop, or I'm always on my phone or my watch is going off with some new stat. I gotta do that. I love to be outdoors and be active. So I make sure we're always trying to do something that's not technology focused.

Alex Medick [00:35:07]:
If staying home and sitting on the couch for me is like we're sick and something bad's happening. If not, we need to be hiking, we need to be swimming, we need to go to a baseball game, we need to play soccer, do anything but technology. So I, I think that there needs to be a nice happy world of use it to inform and entertain and then also go out and see the world, explore the world and know that the world's not through a phone. That's crazy town. I don't know, I, I feel like there has to be a nice compliment in life where it's not all technology all the time. But with that said, I definitely use technology as a crutch. When I'm really busy, I'm like, please, I gotta get this done. Take my phone, go watch whatever you want, I need to get this done.

Alex Medick [00:35:46]:
So sometimes it also is my built in babysitter, which sucks. But hey, it is what it is.

Adam Fishman [00:35:50]:
Every so often you gotta give yourself some grace. So we talked about your, some of your parenting principles, but you also had some pretty inspiring just life principles. Can you share a few of those with me?

Alex Medick [00:36:03]:
They all revolve around kind of the basic, basic things which is embody life with love, zen, empathy. Always try your best to be calm, kind. I really try hard to be the stoicism side of like always know what's in and out of your control, know what to like, argue against, what not to like, what can you really change by having a bad attitude about some. And also know that everyone has a problem that you don't see. So be empathetic just in life in general. So try to have love, calmness, zen and empathy with everything. Another one, definitely go all in on everything that you do. I heard this from Christopher Lockhead one time.

Alex Medick [00:36:44]:
He is a, a former CMO and I used to ask him for advice all the time. Especially when I started getting more professional executive marketing role. And when I was talking about career, he said something to me. It was actually my first CMO role. And I went to ask him, I asked him, hey, what do you do? Should I go to this role? Should I do this? And he goes, Alex, in life, think about it. In life the average career is like what, five, seven years. So in the course of a working life you only have seven real swings at bat. If you have seven swings at bat, what's the point of doing something half assed, go all in or just don't even bother showing up.

Alex Medick [00:37:18]:
And you're like, yeah, like you get seven chances to really make something cool work. So just go all in on it. Even if it's an experiment, you're scared, you're nervous. Just go all in and dive in. Don't hold back. Because what's worse is always having that. Man, if I only did this, I probably could have made that work. It's better just to leave it all on the table.

Alex Medick [00:37:36]:
If it works, hell yes if it doesn't. We tried. I'm still here. People are still breathing and eating. We're good. So I keep doing that. I actually think about this. When I was a kid, like, people used to say things to me and I just took it at face value, like, yeah, that's cool.

Alex Medick [00:37:51]:
But also, as I got older, I realized that we're all just making it up as we go. Some people actually have really good insights because they've done it a few times or they've like read about something in the book. But I would say 99.9% of the time we're all just making it up and going with our best guess. So question everything and be wildly open minded about it. Like, hey, so this might not work, I don't believe this, but here's why. And then when I seem to be wildly open minded, if someone's like, here's an idea that I want to try, don't cut them off because your disbeliefs or like you didn't come up with the idea or something. Be open to accepting ideas or inspiration from anywhere. Anyone can have a great idea.

Alex Medick [00:38:36]:
Not everyone can execute it. That's a different story. But be wildly open minded because, like, don't be closed off in your little box. There's a whole world out there that you don't know that we don't understand. I really try to do that, but yeah, that's kind of the gist of it is question everything. Don't be afraid to shoot for the moon. And do your best to be calm, kind and empathetic.

Adam Fishman [00:38:56]:
Yeah. Oh, love those. Those are some really great principles to end our conversation with. Last thing for you, how can people follow along or be helpful to you in any way?

Alex Medick [00:39:08]:
Well, listen, I used to be a cool social media blogger guy. Not so much anymore because my world is kids or trying to grow TensorWave, the, the AI and HPC cloud. I would be remiss if I did not plug that at all. I mean, hey, follow me. Aj Medic on X. Formerly Twitter. And then I don't know if anyone ever needs anything. AJ medicmail.com Shoot me an email.

Alex Medick [00:39:30]:
I'm more than happy to shoot the shit. Specifically about dad stuff too. Always down.

Adam Fishman [00:39:34]:
Okay, cool. Well, with that, let's get into our lightning round. Very simple. I ask you a question and you say the first thing that comes to mind. And like everything with a show, it's a judgment free zone. Although I may laugh. Not going to lie. Are you ready?

Alex Medick [00:39:50]:
Let's go. All right.

Adam Fishman [00:39:51]:
What is the most indispensable parenting product that you have ever purchased?

Alex Medick [00:39:55]:
A sound machine.

Adam Fishman [00:39:56]:
What is the most useless parenting product that you've ever purchased?

Alex Medick [00:40:00]:
Those stupid diaper changing like things you put on tabletops that they sell for like 100 bucks. That's supposed to keep the baby so cool you will never use it in your life. Don't waste the money.

Adam Fishman [00:40:11]:
Okay. What is the weirdest thing that you've ever found in your kids pockets or in the washing machine?

Alex Medick [00:40:16]:
Honestly, it's always just some sort of candy wrapper. You know, one time I found a washed hundred dollar bill in my son's jeans.

Adam Fishman [00:40:21]:
Whoa.

Alex Medick [00:40:22]:
And I was like, yo, what the hell are you doing? What did you get? 100 bucks. Can I have it?

Adam Fishman [00:40:26]:
His side hustle.

Alex Medick [00:40:27]:
Yeah.

Adam Fishman [00:40:28]:
Selling his Jordans, apparently.

Alex Medick [00:40:30]:
Yeah, apparently. Okay, true. I think what he did, I think he tricked grandma in the give him a little gift or something like that.

Adam Fishman [00:40:36]:
But hey, all right, true or false, there's only one correct way to load the dishwasher.

Alex Medick [00:40:41]:
Very true.

Adam Fishman [00:40:42]:
Okay. And it is your way.

Alex Medick [00:40:44]:
I imagine a thousand percent. There's a very organized method to dishwashing. I'm actually. All right, listen, I have a very specific way of cleaning the dishes, organizing the dishwasher, and we go from there. And that's the perfect way if anyone's interested.

Adam Fishman [00:40:57]:
Hey, you know, you mentioned that life is chaotic. There's got to be something small that you can have control over.

Alex Medick [00:41:03]:
The cleanliness of the dishes, how they're washing. Organization, organize and put away is something I very much control.

Adam Fishman [00:41:08]:
Okay, what is your signature dad's superpower?

Alex Medick [00:41:12]:
Just being fun all the time and making every kid around me have a great time.

Adam Fishman [00:41:16]:
If your kids had to describe you in one word, what would it be? Would it be fun?

Alex Medick [00:41:21]:
It'd probably be silly.

Adam Fishman [00:41:22]:
Yeah, silly. Okay.

Alex Medick [00:41:23]:
All right.

Adam Fishman [00:41:24]:
Crazier block of time in your house. 6:00am to 8:00am or 6:00pm to 8:00pm.

Alex Medick [00:41:30]:
6:00Am to 8:00am okay, what is the.

Adam Fishman [00:41:33]:
Funniest thing that one of your kids has ever said in a public setting?

Alex Medick [00:41:37]:
I can't think of anything right now, to be honest with you. But my son says the wildest things. The other day we were at a baseball game and he just goes. I said, hey, do you want a hot dog? And he goes, come to papa. And I'm like, what the hell? Where does this even come from? What? Whose child are you?

Adam Fishman [00:41:54]:
That's amazing. Okay, what is your go to dad wardrobe?

Alex Medick [00:41:59]:
I am not a fashionable gentleman. I work. I'm wearing collared shirts, jeans, and shoes. Then on the weekend, you'll see me wearing jeans, T shirts and flip flops.

Adam Fishman [00:42:07]:
Okay, what is your go to bribe for good behavior in your house?

Alex Medick [00:42:11]:
I don't really have a good behavior bribe. I just say, here's everything we're taking away.

Adam Fishman [00:42:16]:
How many dad jokes do you tell on average in a given day?

Alex Medick [00:42:20]:
Oh, I'd say at least five or six.

Adam Fishman [00:42:21]:
Okay, do you have a favorite?

Alex Medick [00:42:23]:
I don't. I guarantee one will come to me after this. Actually, I. I'm looking to my right, I see my little pod of, like, desks that sit me. And they always know I will say a good dad joke whenever it pops in my head.

Adam Fishman [00:42:34]:
Okay, I've got one for you right now. Who oversees all of the tissues in the house?

Alex Medick [00:42:40]:
Who?

Adam Fishman [00:42:41]:
The handkerchief.

Alex Medick [00:42:42]:
Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one.

Adam Fishman [00:42:45]:
All right, all right. Actually, that was a terrible one, but.

Alex Medick [00:42:48]:
I love a good dad joke. Okay, ridiculous.

Adam Fishman [00:42:51]:
What is the most absurd thing that one of your kids has ever asked you to buy for them?

Alex Medick [00:42:55]:
A McLaren.

Adam Fishman [00:42:57]:
Pretty absurd. What is the most difficult kids TV show that you've ever had to sit through?

Alex Medick [00:43:02]:
I really fought Sesame Street a lot, but they started making pretty, pretty parent fun, which was. That got nicer over the years. I would say Blippi or anything that's like 8 year old my son watches. These kids loved watching other kids play video games these days. And if I hear another YouTube streamer, I'm gonna break the TVs in my house. I cannot hear any more. Like streamers. Kids, that's insane to me.

Adam Fishman [00:43:27]:
Has your 8 year old discovered Unspeakable yet? That's another one.

Alex Medick [00:43:31]:
Oh, I'm big on the exp. Unspeakable. We actually do the unspeakable dance around my house. We just do that all the time.

Adam Fishman [00:43:36]:
Okay, what is your favorite kids movie?

Alex Medick [00:43:39]:
That's a great one. I actually would say Moana. That's a lovely movie.

Adam Fishman [00:43:43]:
Excellent. Is there a nostalgic movie from your childhood or adult life that you just can't wait to force your kids to watch with you?

Alex Medick [00:43:52]:
Oh, it's a thousand percent Ghostbusters, which the original one D. Murray and Dana and oh my gosh, who passed away? I can't remember his name right now, but yes.

Adam Fishman [00:44:00]:
Okay, what is the worst experience you've ever had? Assembling a kid's toy or a piece of furniture?

Alex Medick [00:44:06]:
Definitely furniture. Because I get so frustrated, you know, breaking pieces and I have to go figure out my own piece to do this. I'm immediately thinking like, dressers or like my daughter has this dang vanity mirror set with these lights around it and whatnot. I just remember being up at like 2am the night before Christmas building this thing, like with my little Allen ranch wrench. And I'm just like, oh, my gosh, what is happening here? This is a nightmare.

Adam Fishman [00:44:29]:
How long can a piece of food sit on the floor in your house and you will still eat it?

Alex Medick [00:44:34]:
Zero. I am. The second is on the ground. If a dog hasn't eaten it before I get there, it is up. Trash. I have again, weird juror organizational issues. So I probably have one of the cleaner households you've ever seen with two kids. Actually, if you walked in my house and didn't see the little kid things everywhere, you probably wouldn't think kids live there.

Adam Fishman [00:44:52]:
Okay, wow, impressive. Final question for you. What is your take on minivans?

Alex Medick [00:44:59]:
All right. I never wanted a minivan. I think they're ridiculous. I don't want one personally, but I've heard people say nothing but amazing things about them specifically. I remember the first time I almost came to buy a minivan. When I saw one had like a built in vacuum in the back seat, I was like, oh, okay, now we're talking. I can get behind this, but I'm not going to do it, man. The closest I'll go is I'm a truck.

Alex Medick [00:45:24]:
And that's like the closest I'll get to minivan, as long as it's four doors. But the kids are very aware that the second they can fit in the backseat of a Porsche, Dad's getting a Porsche or they're freaking walking. So that's. This is like. This is a known thing in my household.

Adam Fishman [00:45:38]:
Okay, we're going no minivan, but yes on the Porsche.

Alex Medick [00:45:41]:
All right, I gotta do. I have to have something. There's gotta be something for me.

Adam Fishman [00:45:46]:
All right, well, Alex Medick, thank you so much for joining me on Startup Dad today. It was. I laughed a lot in this episode. This was a great conversation and I wish you and your family all the best.

Alex Medick [00:45:58]:
No, I appreciate it, Adam. Thanks for having me.

Adam Fishman [00:46:01]:
Thank you for listening to today's conversation with Alex Medick. Startup Dad is available in all your favorite podcast players and YouTube. Just search for Startup Dad to find it anywhere you listen to podcasts. Thanks for listening and see you next week.