Building a company and family, the responsibility cloak, mistakes and setting irrevocable guidelines | Nick Soman (father of 2, Decent, Gusto, Amazon)

Nick Soman is the founder and CEO of Decent, a healthcare company that helps small businesses band together to get more affordable health insurance for their employees. Prior to that he led growth for Gusto, was a product manager on the Kindle at Amazon, and started a company that he sold to Napster! In this episode we discuss:

• How Nick's parents influenced his own parenting

• The challenging early times as a Dad and startup leader

• Discoveries he's had as a Dad

• The importance of partnership in your marriage and how to navigate conflict

• His "irrevocable guidelines" around family

• Silicon Valley hustle culture and incompatibility with family life

• Bringing his own values into his company

• Many mistakes he's made as a father and what they've taught him

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Where to find Nick Soman:

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/nicksoman

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicksoman/

Where to find Adam:

- Newsletter: https://www.fishmanafnewsletter.com

- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Twitter: https://twitter.com/fishmanaf

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In this episode, we cover:

[1:50] Introductions

[2:36] Nick and Decent Health

[4:28] Nick’s background

[7:08] His Parents

[8:58] Family life and Starting a family

[12:27] Challenging early times as a Dad

[16:00] Responsibility cape/choice vs. obligation

[17:12] Masculine energy/Nature vs. Nurture

[20:44] Dad discoveries/Do as I say, not as I do.

[24:41] Dissonance between partners

[25:32] Importance of partnership/conflict

[28:00] Marriage advice

[30:22] How do you and your wife recharge?

[32:46] “Irrevocable guidelines” around my family

[33:27] Silicon Valley “hustle culture”

[34:19] A trap he fell into/a walkabout

[37:44] Bringing values into his company

[40:46] Mistake he’s made as a father

[44:28] Rapid fire round

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Links we reference:

Rivian
https://rivian.com/

“Hold Me Tight,” Dr. Sue Johnson 
https://www.amazon.com/Hold-Me-Tight-Conversations-Lifetime/dp/B084G9QFZY/ref=sr_1_2?crid=194BNQXYUKRWA&keywords=hold+me+tight+sue+johnson&qid=1680733560&sprefix=hold+me+tight+sue+%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-2

Nick's company, Decent
https://www.decent.com/

Andy Johns - How to Know When to Stop
https://www.lennysnewsletter.com/p/how-to-know-when-to-stop

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Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/